9 reasons to queue up for the squat toilet

 

 

 

 

 

Warning this post contains graphic detail: if you don’t like that sort of thing don’t read it.

Travelling the world including Europe, Morocco, Turkiye, India and the Middle East has given me much experience of using squat-style toilets,  ‘Arab’ or ‘Asian’ toilets, hole-in-the-ground toilets, or ‘French’ toilets, as we used to call them in the ‘80s when France was exotic and foreign. Such toilets are often the bane of British people’s holiday, ‘oh Gah, those toilets,’ but I am now one of those people who queue up for the squat toilet. Here’s why I’ve converted:

1.Squatting is a much more natural position to defecate – it comes out easier

2.Some even say that western-style toilets are to blame for bowel cancer because sitting doesn’t allow you to expel fully and properly. I don’t know if it’s true but I’ll reproduce that 

3.Squatting regularly is good for almost every muscle in your body 

4.When you’ve got your period, ladies, you are actively expelling the waste more effectively as you are squeezing it out. Which has got to be better right?

5. It’s much more effective (forget hygienic) to wash your private parts with water after you have urinated or defecated than wipe them, and you don’t need an extra contraption called a bide 

6.When the weather is hot you get the opportunity to wash regularly down there (not to mention very helpful at ladies’ period time)

7. It’s more environmentally friendly to NOT use toilet paper. Although – to be fair – a lot of Turkish toilets also have toilet paper to dry your private parts, which, I must admit, I am all for. Soggy knickers is the only drawback.

8.You have a much more regular intimate relationship with your private parts than when you sit on a toilet, as when you squat and clean you are literally looking right at them. You can spot any changes or abnormalities more easily which, as you get older, you should be doing

9.It’s more hygienic in public toilets because the only thing that touches the toilet is your feet. 

But how do you actually use them? ‘I hate getting my feet all wet!’ I hear you cry. 

After much practice, trial and error, I can advise you. Of course I can only talk from a woman’s point of view, but I do supervise my son, so I can advise men also. 

  • Turn around (yes, like when you sit on the seated toilet) and place your feet on the feet plates with toes about level with the front, so your bum will be roughly over the hole when you squat.
  • If you’re wearing a skirt, pull it up and gather it around your waist and hold it there, and pull your knickers down to your knees, not ankles
  • If wearing trousers pull them UP AT THE ANKLES and take them (and knickers) down at the same time so they gather around your knees and no parts drape on the floor.
  • Squat as low as you can (I.e. a full squat, called malasana in yoga.)
  • Have your feet flat on the floor 
  • Don’t tip toe or try to hold a high squat 
  • If you can’t fully squat ask yourself why and practice 
  • Do your business 
  • Fill the jug with water 
  • Peer through your legs to look at your private parts 
  • Hold your left hand between your legs (via the front not the back) and over the toilet bowl. With your right hand carry the jug and also reach through your feet and pour water over your left hand so it is wetted making a cup shape with the hand so it holds some water while simultaneously wiping your private parts with your left hand. 
  • Pour gently so you don’t splash. 
  • Women (men skip to the next point) wipe front to back or sort of diagonally to the side so you don’t touch your bum hole 
  • When you’re happy your front bits are clean (half a jug to a full jug is a good guide) do the same with your back parts
  • Dry with tissue (women, front then back)
  • Or just shake 
  • Pull clothes up 
  • Turn around 
  • Flush toilet with flush or with jug of water 
  • Clean toilet if necessary
  • Leave cubicle 
  • Wash hands with soap in sink (not with jug and tap in cubicle) 
  • Done. 

Some toilets have a hose pipe instead of a jug but I would advise against aiming it at your private parts and squirting, if you want to avoid getting soaked. Use the method above, wetting your left hand with the hose instead of the jug.

In Turkiye some European style toilets have a built-in ‘bum wash.’ A jet of water shoots out of the back of the toilet aimed at your bum hole. These are a compromise. You need to use them in a similar fashion, using your hand as a cup to catch the water and wipe, as they rarely point in exactly the right place and if they do, often that alone is not enough to clean you.

Hey presto. 

Squat toilets all the way for me now. I’ll see you in that queue. Which one are you choosing? 

Er, while writing this post I stumbled upon this. A whole blog dedicated to using the toilet while travelling. 

https://gogoguano.wordpress.com/

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